Monday, May 24, 2010

Dickie's Apology Just Doesn't Work

I am trying hard to like Richard Blumenthal. I really am. Over the weekend I called for an end to Dickiegate, trying to resign myself to the fact that this would-be Senator is a liar. I stumbled under the influence of some inchoate syllogism that went something like this:

Dick Blumenthal is a politician.

All politicians are liars.

Dick Blumenthal is a liar.

I wanted to reduce this to a mere truism. Put the lie aside and then focus on the bigger issues. Who best to send to the Senate, a man with decades of experience in public office, or the queen of wrestling? I was leaning toward Blumenthal.

But then Blumenthal sent an email apology of sorts last night to supporters. It reads as follows:

"At times when I have sought to honor veterans, I have not been as clear or precise as I should have been about my service in the Marine Corps Reserves,'' Blumenthal says. "I have firmly and clearly expressed regret and taken responsibility for my words. I have made mistakes and I am sorry. I truly regret offending anyone. I will always champion the cause of Connecticut's and our nation's veterans."

Oh, Dickie. Repeat these words: "I lied and I am ashamed." Or are you incapable of saying so? You lied, Dick. You got caught, Dick. You stood defiantly and claimed we who accuse you were wrong, Dick. Now that you've dicked around with the truth for a a week and found folks are still asking questions, you try to apologize? You two-faced lizard and momma's boy: Don't try to mail in a voucher for your integrity. Call another press conference and confess.

Go back to your fox hole, Dick. The one at Neverland. Go play with Michael Jackson and do your moral moon walking on someone else's stage.

Blumenthal's "apology" is about as satisfying as phone sex. Behind the image of words that are meant to entice is an unappealing ugliness that repels. Is this man without qualities afraid that if he stood before a camera and admitted he lied that no one would want him? He's a moral blimp hiding behind a poster of Captain America.

He's not sorry about anything other than having been caught with his pants down. I, on the other hand, am regretting having called for an end to Dickiegate. The man knows no shame. He is apparently incapable of genuine remorse. He's every bit the caricature of the wrestlers Linda McMahon, his Republican rival, puts on stage for the Worldwide Wrestling Federation.

Dick is a dope, and so am I for being willing to think him fit to be a Senator. The man belongs in a moral leper's colony.